Okay so this is what's been going on..

It's only been one day and i have so much to talk about. Okay so yesterday started out fine. i was in a better mood and had to open at work so yep good times :) anyways, i got there early and had been running late that morning to get mini to school so i had put off my devotions until i got to work. I had an extra 20 mins before i was even supposed to clock in so it worked out. I had prayed after the devotion asking God to guide me and possibly give me a sign as to where i'm headed and what i should do about the whole Superman situation. afterwards went back to doing my usual work stuff and it was a super slow morning. around 11, a lady came in because she was having problems with her phone.. like a charging issue and she didn't know how to turn the phone on. We resolved the problems and discussed some voicemail questions she had. i wrote down some instructions for her and then she started "reading my handwriting." Every thing she was a pretty much dead on from my personality traits to my recent troubles. it's weird but idk like i wasn't giving off any signs because i was in such a good mood. anyways, by the end of her "reading" i was pretty much in tears and completely blown away. if this was my sign that i had asked for, it pretty much smacked me right in my face. So that pretty much occupied my mind for the rest of the day. i spoke to Twinnie about it and she said it was weird but i should take what i want out of it. I just don't know. Anyways, so Superman and i were discussing it last night and he basically told me i should do what i felt was right. okkkk thanks i appreciate that, but i generally always do what i think/feel is right although i obviously have a HUGE fear of rejection. No two ways about that. I AM TERRIFIED OF BEING REJECTED!!! It's something I'm working on and in every other aspect of my life I'm completely competent and confident, EXCEPT when it comes to dating... oy oy oy! it cannot be this difficult. So anyways, him and i talked for awhile then of course me not dating comes up.. pfft. ok so i told Twinnie i would ACTIVELY look for dates. this involves me joining dating site.. so far i'm on 4 or 5, i think. match, catholic cupid, military cupid, speed dating online, and christian singles. jeez this is so hard to keep track of especially with all the notifications coming in on my BB. i've talked to a few guys thru email and one through text. i think we're going to hang out tonight. So we shall see how that goes. I'm pretty much obligated to date anyone who i'm even reasonably attracted to and can hold an intelligent conversation lol. Well this guy, MM, is attractive and we've been able to talk for more than the superficial conversation, so we'll see how it goes. I'm so going to try to be optimistic but honestly like Twinnie said, I'm planning on moving so why do the ltr thing with someone here when i wont be staying.. well i'll keep you posted..


p.s. i still haven't told Superman, but he would have to be the densest man in the world not to have picked it up from our past two convos.. or maybe i'm dense and not reading his signs, which Twinnie has also pointed out.. ugh